What to do about music as an annoyance?

Discuss getting a diagnosis, educational help & electronic devices and apps for autism.

Moderator: ModeratorBill

Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:02 am

What to do about music as an annoyance?

Postby asdfadf » Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:40 pm

I am required to travel (drive) often with three (male) co-workers, two of whom I consider my friends. We are near the same age and status in the non-profit organisation. While I can usually put up with their unmelodic, repetitive, tiresome choice of music with an excess of ads: American pop, country, electronica, and (slightly less bad) Latino pop if the music isn't turned up too loud, there are times, especially when I'm tired or when I have been assaulted by noise for some time (their music, road noise, large groups of people talking) that I cannot.

While I understand that people do not always get along, and one must make allowances for others, I simply can not stand to have noise continue after a certain point (road noise is still mostly tolerable, though).

So my question is: What methods can I apply to defend against insanity by noise? I have tried:
- Explaining my experience. The response was basically: https://youtu.be/Ow0lr63y4Mw?t=116
- Talking to my supervisor. His position on personal conflicts which don't involve violence is, "Work it out amongst yourselves. You're adults."
- Using 33 NRR earplugs, inserted fully and firmly. While this helps delay the point at which noise becomes irritating to me, it helps little after this point. My hearing seems to be exceptionally loud (though voices aren't always parsed correctly) and I can still hear their music and normal volume conversations clearly through the earplugs.
- Listening to my own preferred music with headphones. This tires me out faster, both because I still have constant artificial sound entering my ears and because I have to turn it up louder than I would otherwise to block their "music" and enjoy it over the road noise.
- Requests to turn off the music. These are almost always ignored, deflected "It's three against one. We can have music 3/4 of the time and silence 1/4." (Never mind that only two state a desire for the music; the other besides myself hasn't indicated a preference. Never mind that we tend to have music 95% of the time while driving, rather than 75%.), or acquiesced to in the temporary, token, manner of turning down the sound by a couple clicks until a "good" song comes on.
- Yelling. This results in the attack that I'm acting childish (never mind the fact that I don't act any worse than they have when a favoured sports team lost).
- Removing the radio fuse. This results in being told I'm puerile.
- Getting out and walking away at a stop, to be out of the assault of noise. This also results in accusations of being infantile.

I have not been tested for ASD, nor do I plan to be; I think the result would be weak, even if positive. While the non-profit would acknowledge ASD if it was found, I feel it would not change the minds of these co-workers, nor our supervisor. Two of the co-workers are from a Latin American country and would view it the same as my requests for quiet: silly and selfish. The other one, a relative youth from the USA, agrees with them. I am averse to going to someone higher in the organisation because I am interested in preserving a positive relationship with the few friends I have, and I think it would not have much of an effect anyway. (I do know the difference between friends and people who tolerate you, and other than this issue, two of these coworkers and the supervisor are my friends.)

Posts: 147
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2016 10:48 am

Re: What to do about music as an annoyance?

Postby jaumeb » Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:04 am

I tried to combine earplugs and protective headset such as the one used in airports/construction. That gives you a few extra dB. Problem is the headset gave me some headache.

Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:02 am

Re: What to do about music as an annoyance?

Postby asdfadf » Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:52 pm

Do you mean using a second passive hearing protector over the earplugs? I haven't tried that in the car yet. Thanks for the suggestion. Since I wear glasses, this isn't a perfect solution, as the over-ear protectors push on the ear pieces of my glasses. However, if it helps enough, it would be worth riding without my glasses for a while.

Does anyone have experience with active sound cancellation headsets? For example, wearing this type of headphones without any music. Is this better or worse than passive hearing protection?

Return to “Autism Support/Education/Technology”